Chronicles of war and peace
by Aurorawhisperwind
Summary: An intensive look at a glamorized war, the lessons of life it taught a young girl. Her obsessive love for the first unit captain, doomed to failure the moment the first feeling of rapture overpowered her.
1. Chapter 1

**Aurora Whisperwind:** Okay, so I decided to write another OC fic. And the mother of all Mary-sue origins too. But I promise you, I am NOT going to tread that path. The plot, at least the starting is pretty usual. And I promise that I will try and make a decent fic out of this. A lot of research went into it, but if there is still any historical mistakes, please tell me. Thanks!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Peacemaker Kurogane or any of its characters. Though hardly any of them are mentioned.

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It is the spring of the year 1863

The cherry blossoms are in full bloom. My room is a mess, clothes and belongings strewn about everywhere. The letter from my step-sister Nami informing me about the naming ceremony my new-born niece Sayuri, after me, is still on the desk awaiting my reply. It's been almost a month since my brother Hikaru died. My world was shattered then, and only painful memories remain now. But I do not think of them now. I think of the offer from my uncle, Kondou Isami now. An offer to live with him. I am only a fifteen year old girl, and my sister has a family of her own. I would be a burden to her, considering she already has so many things to attend to and three young children to care for within the four short years of her wedding.

Uncle Kondou hasn't written to me since I was a child, though he kept regular contact with my brother. Since uncle founded his Mibu Roushi Gumi along with his partner Hijikata Toshizou, my brother had wanted to join. And all of uncle's letters about an extremely talented student he had, a prodigy, in fact, spurred him even more. And he insisted on me training with him. Now that he's gone…. I hope uncle will let me join. I'm not a very good swordswoman or anything; not as good as my brother but I can atleast defend myself. I make up my mind, scribble off a reply to Nami-san, pack my clothes and other belongings and then prepare to leave.

I stare at myself in the mirror. I'm wearing my brother's Gi, and as I'm so flat-chested anyway, I don't have to bind myself much. I tie my brown hair up in a short ponytail, as it's not very long. I look like any other young boy now, and not much effort went into it. I'm not like Nami-san, whose beauty can take anyone's breath away. I do not have her dark hair, long and straight, or her mesmerizing eyes. A true Geisha's eyes. That's why my father guarded her with all he had, partly because of his over-whelming love for her mother, who died suddenly and unexpectedly. It was after a few more years that he married my mother. I do not know my parents, just accounts of what other people have given me, as my they were murdered shortly after my birth. No one ever told me why. Nami-san and Hikaru-san recollect my mother vividly; she was soft-hearted and kind. She treated Nami-san with more affection than a birth mother would. In fact, Nami-san's first child, my oldest niece, was named after my mother. Nyoko. A true gem among women, Nami-san said.

On impulse, I open my pack and take out one of my mother's most treasured belongings, a wooden pendant which she wanted me to have. The carving is exquisite; it is that of a lily in full bloom. I never wore it, just kept it aside where it gathered dust. My mother's legacy. A wonderful woman whom I had never known. Tears fill my eyes as I remember Hikaru-san's last words-'Remember Sayuri. Remember our mother. When you feel lost or alone, look for her and she will be there. Try and be like her, loving and loved by all, pure and honored, a true samurai woman. Be proud of who you are, and your family'. It was god speaking, I know, as Hikaru-san had been delirious for many days until then. But that night, he spoke to me with coherency that could only have been granted by a divine hand. 'I promise' I whisper into the empty room, shutting the door and wiping my tears away, and suddenly over come with reverence, put the pendant around my neck.

I say good bye to my kind neighbors who have been almost family since my Hikaru-san's passing. I get their blessings and leave. Pushing a stray strand of hair off my face, I strap my brother's Katana to my side. I had never held a real sword before; all I had ever used was a shinai. A sword is much heavier and hard to control, I discover. So if I ever get into a real fight now, I'd probably die. It is mid-morning now. Walking along, I suddenly realize that I don't want to go. The sun, familiar birds calling to each other, the cherry blossom trees beckoning, these sights and sounds are what I'm all about. I've lived all my life here and I don't know if I ever will be able to go back. But Hikaru-san…. I bite my lower lip; I can't back out because of fear now. But as I turn around and leave, I pray to god to leave this village be, to know that there is some safe haven for me, a place to run to when thing get complicated, always waiting….

To Kyoto, the imperial city, as beautiful by day as it is dangerous by night.

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Mmmm…. I tried to portray an ordinary Samurai girl, neither good nor bad with the sword. Please give me your opinions! They will be very much appreciated! 


	2. Chapter 2

**Aurora Whisperwind:** Hey, thank you for those nice reviews!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Peacemaker Kurogane or any of its characters.

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"Arara!" yelled the two year old, in an adorable version of his name, Arata. I watch him stumble a little, and then go back to his original position, laughing to himself, playing a game only he can understand. Children are so amazing. Its been five days since I left my home, and I was lucky to find this village. I thought I knew the way, but it seems I got lost in the forests. I do not know, as all I remember was that I was going to die even before I got to Kyoto, alone, wandering and hungry in a never-ending maze of trees. Thank god Etsuko-san's husband found me unconscious while he was looking for firewood.

Arata-chan is Etsuko-san's second boy. The women of the village whisper among themselves everyday, envious. To be so lucky as to be blessed with two sons! And no daughters too! I am a boy to them now, and I am glad. They treat me well, and I'm sure that if they had known, I wouldn't have been given half the comforts they give me now. Not Etsuko-san however. She wishes for a little girl, though she never mentions it to her husband. She is…. fascinating. She may be extremely small and delicate, but her fragileness had a charm of its own. Smooth porcelain cheeks, a sharp, slightly upturned nose, dark, velvet eyes, pale skin and small doll-like features, she is exceedingly beautiful.

My own nose is slightly flat and is much too big. Yet, I pride myself on the fact that what I am doing right now, not many women can even dream of. And I am a samurai woman, and these people are peasants. I check myself there before I go further. Hikaru-san never liked to look down on them. I smile appreciatively as Etsuko-san limps over to serve me my tea. She has problems walking; there is something wrong with her leg. It is twisted oddly, like someone manhandled her at birth. Still, she can walk into a room, as elegantly as a swan, with grace.

"Takeshi-kun" she offered the tea, "Are you feeling better?" I nod my thanks, and answer in affirmative. "How far is Kyoto from here, Etsuko-san?" I ask her, as Arata-chan abandoned his game to join us. "I do not know exactly, Takeshi-kun" she said, ruffling her son's hair fondly, "I have never been anywhere else. But I think it will take you two days at least…. But are you sure you want to leave that soon?" I nod. "My uncle will be waiting for me, Etsuko-san. I have to leave". She sighed. "The war is frightening. Why are we fighting? Who are we fighting against?" her question remained unanswered, as Hotaka-chan entered the house, weary after a long day's work, followed by his father and Etsuko-san rushed to attend to them, her half-empty tea cup put aside. I gaze into the murky cup. Who are we fighting exactly? Why? Etsuko-san's simple question got me thinking. The sun started setting slowly over the horizon, and the defining the boundaries for this simple village woman. Little did I know that it would be the last sunset anyone in this village would ever see.

I had originally planned to leave the next morning. But somewhere in the middle of the night, drunken yells and plaintive screaming jerked me awake. Etsuko-san was huddled with Arata-chan in her arms, trying to soothe the weeping child. Hotaka-chan and Ichiro-san, Etsuko-san's husband, were dressed and armed with sticks. Ichiro-san appealed to me look after his wife and son, saying as he left- "It is probably nothing, Takeshi-kun. It was a rough day. They must have had too much to drink. But just to make sure"

An hour or so passed. The yells continued, the bloodlust growing. I tried to reassure Etsuko-san, but she remained stricken with terror now. "Please Takeshi-kun!" she begged, grabbing my arm, "please look for them! Maybe something happened to them!" I hesitate, but was unable to say no to her terrified face and red eyes. Warning her against stepping out, I cautiously groped my way through the dark towards the roars of drunken men, heart thudding. What I saw haunted me for the rest of my life. Blood flowed like a river in flood, uninvited. Headless bodies lay around me, along with desecrated, mutilated bodies of children. People kept screaming and yelling, not knowing who they were striking down.

"Die you traitors!" yelled a man who looked to be in command. "Stay loyal to a filthy dog who has taken your lands and made you starve! Spineless cowards!" There was a great roar of approval at his words from his supporters. The remaining men slurred something, and another furious bloodbath began. There was no sign of Ichiro-san. I hesitate, wondering if I should defy these people and try to save someone, but I know I can't do it. I cannot fight against twenty or so, well built men. I was hurrying away, carefully avoiding a few blows, when I smelt it. The acrid smell of burning flesh and blood filled the air. They were immolating people! Within minutes, most of the houses where on fire, anguished screams of children and women, and the air was rent with smoke.

Blinded, I stumbled through what I thought was Etsuko-san's house. I went inside quickly, intending to get her out. "Please, please!" I could hear voice plead "He's just a child, please!" a rough push, a scream and the sickening sound of flesh tearing. A slam of the back door and they were gone. I rushed to her room. Etsuko-san was bent over the limp, lifeless body of young Arata. I froze. Etsuko-san rocked herself and the little boy's body back and forth, muttering indistinctly. Again, I smelt the overpowering smell of burning bamboo. "Etsuko-san!" I yelled, "Come with me! They're setting the house on fire!" She looked up at me, her beautiful face expressionless. She made no signs of leaving. _She's gone insane. Her grief had driven her insane._

I step into the room and try to move her, but she pulls back. I can feel the heat now, and make another desperate effort to talk to her. She looks once again to her son, and starts singing a lullaby. A beam crashes somewhere, and I know I have to leave. I exit through the back door and run into the forest, as Etsuko-san sat there, humming to her dead child. Through the trees, I take a last look at this village, where life had changed in one night. As the flames rose through the air and the screams died down, the crushing disappointment I felt at letting a heart-broken woman die enveloped me. But she had already died when they killed her little boy.

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I'm sorry if the scenes are violent. I purposely did not include rape, as I felt very insecure writing about it. More facets of Sayuri's personality came up in this chappie- her cowardice and her slight snootiness. Any comments, suggestions for improvement or any constructive criticism are appreciated. Next chapter, to Kyoto and the Shinsengumi! 


	3. Chapter 3

**Aurora Whisperwind:** I really thought I should change the category, as this had nothing to do with Rurouni Kenshin at all.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Peacemaker Kurogane or any of its characters.

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Kyoto was so big. I was sure that it would take me weeks to see the entire city, walking through the unending maze of streets. The people were so different too, I saw all sorts of them, elegant ladies in the most exquisite kimonos, strange men who smelt of sake all the time, and playing children. But somehow, there was an aura of fear in the city, for all its outward calm. Just like that night. 

I groaned inwardly. No matter how I tried, I couldn't wipe those images out of my head. I was such a coward! I could have, maybe I could have saved them. I started walking faster now, anything to keep the blood and the screaming and the terror out. _There was nothing you could do. She was already dead._ The thought was like a mantra I uttered, and chanted it with every step I took. I managed to push the matter out of my head, and tried hard to focus on finding uncle Kondou. It was getting dark, and people had warned me against even stepping out then. Oh, I could if I was a skilled warrior, but in reality, much as I hated to admit it to myself, I was pathetic.

The evening started to end, as the tension in the air rose noticeably. People spoke in frightened whispers as they hurried back into the safety of their homes. I had no clue as to where to go. As the sun began to set, I finally decided to abandon my search and start looking for an inn or some place to stay. I had a little money, enough to let me stay outside for a few days. I went inside two or three inns, but was either turned out by harassed looking inn-keepers who complained of no room, or asked me to pay a price so high I nearly fainted right there.

Morose, I stepped out into the semi-dark street, when the sounds of fighting came to me. I was too late already! Panicking, I started running to what I thought was away from the clashing swords, but instead ended up right in the middle of it. I gazed, bewildered, as drunken men slurred insults at each other and struck each other down. I almost shrieked when one man fell right at my feet, making them notice me. Dumbstruck, I tried unsheathing my sword, but it was stuck and much too heavy. As a heavy set man lunged at me, I hit him with the sword, sheathed and all, and stepped out of the way, only to find myself in a corner. I let out a scream as the sword threatened to behead me, but instead heard a growl and felt warm blood spray over my face as I looked into the faces of my rescuers.

"You alright, kid?" one of those angels asked me, giving me his hand. I nodded; horrified as I noticed that there were at least ten dead men around me. "Run off now" the other man said, "it's not safe around here" I nodded dumbly, and muttering a word of thanks, ran off. Heaving, I turned a corner, now extremely nauseous. I vomited in the alley way, and sat there shaking, wiping my mouth. As more screaming reached my ears, I got up and starting walking again. Tears stung my eyes as fear overcame me, and I prayed to god to take me to safety. God seemed merciful enough, as the third corner I turned led to an inn I hadn't tried yet. Grateful, I stepped into it, and was soon face to face with a tired but king looking middle aged woman. "Please" I begged, tears stinging my eyes, "Do you have room?" she looked at me with some disgust at my breath, but proceeded to smile. "No boy, I'm sorry. But you look hurt. Did you get into a fight?" she questioned, as she peered into my face. I nodded at her and gulped "I don't want to get back out there, please! Any small place would do" She sighed and led me to a small back room, where a dirty futon was laid out. "No blankets. Will this do?" I smiled gratefully at her. "Thank you"

It was a most uncomfortable night, as the futon was thin and smelt bad, and in addition it was cold. But I was lucky to be safe. Morning dawned, and after a quick breakfast and wash, I was ready to leave. Before I left, I asked my hostess where the Shinsengumi headquarters was. "What do you want to go there for?" she asked me sharply, raising her eyebrows, "Why would someone so young want to associate with such beasts?"

"They're not beasts!" I protested "My uncle-" I stopped there, mercifully remembering not to reveal myself. "And what did your uncle say, young one? That the Mibu Roushi Gumi protects? No boy, they don't. They kill. They're nothing but heartless murderers!" she almost shouted this out, and quite a few people turned to look at us. She softened "Listen child; don't taint your innocence by associating with them. It is for your best" she patted me on the head, and then went off to attend to her customers.

After I had paid my bill and stepped outside, I thought about what she had said. _Could it be true?_ Could the people who attacked me yesterday be the Miborou? I kicked a stone aside. _But then who were the two people who saved me?_ As I walked along wondering, I saw a worn paper on the ground. It was dirty, many people having stepped on it, but the kanji was clear. It was an invitation to join the Shinsengumi! I checked the address and paper in hand, headed there.

I must admit that was completely overwhelmed by the huge fortress like place. Two men stood as still as statues at the entrance, guarding the dojo inside. "Excuse me" I stammered, "I found this and I-" my sentence was cut-off when someone shouted, "Hey kid, its you! You're alive then!" looking behind me, I saw them again, the men who rescued me yesterday. "Ohayo" I greeted, bowing. It's okay. If such nice men where in the Shinsengumi, then the lady was wrong.

"So what brings you here?" one of them asked me, throwing a friendly arm around my shoulders. "Don't tell me you're thinking of joining? No offence, but you fight horribly" my heart sank. "Please let me join!" I begged, "I'll become stronger, honest!" They grinned at each other. "Kid listen, everyone says that. But face it, you don't have the ability" His voice had genuine sympathy in it. I shook my head stubbornly, "But I have to join! I have to! I promised someone that I would" The memory of Hikaru-san brought tears to my eyes, and I quickly looked away.

I heard them sigh. "You know anything about accounting?" the first one asked, who I then discovered was Yamamoto Kane. I thought about it. This could be my only chance. "Yes" I nodded not meeting his eyes, "I used to help my brother do it" the other man, Aoki Akira, lifted my head. "Really? Then maybe you could help our new bookkeeper, Ichimura Tatsunosuke. Come with us, we'll take you to Kondou-san" Saying so, they led me away. I just hoped uncle wouldn't recognize me, not that I recognized him. However, the thought that worried me the most was different. _Was book-keeping and accounting the same thing?_

"You want to help Ichimura, eh?" uncle Kondou asked me. I was quite taken aback when I saw him, I expected a tough looking man. "Yes" I stammered, bowing. "What's your name?" he asked me, a twinkle in those eyes, just like Hikaru-san's eyes. "Ishikawa Isamu" I answered. It was our neighbor's name. "Well, if you really are good, then I guess you can help Ichimura around" uncle conceded, "he could use some assistance. Take him to Ichimura-kun. Let him decide" I bowed in thanks, and left with Yamamoto-san and Aoki-san.

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Next chapter, the interview. Let's see how'll she'll try and pull that off. Suggestions and criticisms are welcome. 


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